Noooooooooooo

Ugh. That was the most craptacular moment in Bachelorette history. I can't believe she picked Jesse! My heart goes out to Jason. I've never been as emotionally invested in the outcome of the show as I have on this season's Bachelorette. Aaagh. I kinda had a feeling my boy wasn't getting picked, but I was hoping against hope. And when the moment arrived, it was like a punch in the gut. And to watch the guy on the 'After The Rose' special, ugh, my heart broke. He seemed really sincere and totally crushed....it was just not right. And I don't even know the guy! (My husband was watching me the whole time and probably thinking that his wife is really crazy. Totally cuckoo.) I really feel bad for Jason. I do hope that this totally gets him laid by hot girls for the rest of his life. Nothing less will make the universe right again.

Love Me Then Leave Me..You Did It All For The N*okie? (June 30)

(Image from ABC.com)

Last night I indulged yet again in a heaping spoonful of my favorite guilty pleasure, ABC's The Bachelorette 4 Slurp! And to top it off, it was a 'Men Tell All' night too. I do love it when guys turn into catty b*tches! Anyway, this week the lovely Deanna (or 'Blinky', as she is more affectionately referred to in my head) is down to her final 3. They are all off to the Bahamas for a series of Fantasy Suite dates. In other words, this is the point in the show where host Chris Harrison starts sending out those handwritten notes that are probably reused every season (only the names change) and are a more delicate way of saying they can all have sex now. So Jeremy Anderson, the real estate attorney from Dallas, is up first. They frolic on the beach, ride some Jet Skis, get the fantasy card during dinner, and then go have sex. Day 2, and Jason Mesnik, an account executive from Washington State gets his turn - they frolic in some mangrove area, ride a Kayak, get the fantasy card during dinner, and then go have sex. And now, our last contestant, Jesse Csinsak, a pro snowboarder from Breckenridge, well, does pretty much the same thing - he frolicks on the beach with Deanna, rides some Horses, gets the d*mn card...oh, you catch my drift. Let's just cut to the chase and go to the rose ceremony..where, Jeremy (the guy I was rooting for! If I were single I would totally...oh well, I'm not single) gets the ax. I have to admit the guy broke away from the script this time by asking the limo to stop on the way to where losers get sent...like he was hyperventillating or something. Usually the guys/gals who get cut just stay in the limo while quietly (or not-so-quietly) crumbling to pieces before the camera. I prefer it that way. None of this walking off crap. Anyway, the two remaining men toast his demise with Deanna and we then cut to the next hour which is a 'Men Tell All' special. (This is where all the guys who got rejected by Blinky try to regain some lost pride and dignity by indulging in some fun mudslinging and altogether classy b*tchiness - in short, they start acting like a bunch of girls.) A lot of interesting things pop up in this MTA, such as:

Jeremy inadvertently? reveals that he and Deanna slept together. As in "You slept with me then let me go." Or was it "Wham-bam-thank-you-maam"?

Normally super-sweet Deanna turns into megab*tch right before our very eyes.

Graham says he was trying to make a statement by NOT kissing Deanna on the racetrack group date when the girl was clearly gagging for it.

Ron was known as the Socrates of the group. (Socrates = Jessica Simpson in their world.)

Christian Ryan refuses to turn the other cheek and proceeds to coin a new meaning for the acronym OCD - it is now known in select scientific circles as 'Obsessive Compulsive Deanna'.

Ohh...it's all like a trainwreck...I want to stop watching but I can't!!! Who will she choose? Will he propose? Watch next week on the exciting finale of the 'most AMAZING' season of The Bachelorette evah!!!!! Peace out!

You did not miss ... Chris Harrison. Or Graham's 5 O' Clock Shadow. Any of the Fantasy dates.
You should have not missed ... rubbernecking at the Men Tell All trainwreck.

The Bachelorette 4 airs every Monday at 8 pm on ABC.